A Memorable Day

I had wanted to find a way to explain Memorial Day to Alex. How do you explain to a child that we want to respect veterans, but not glorify war; instead we respect veterans precisely because war is so awful. I sought Dan's input and some advice on my mom board and put together a day for us.

There was a parade planned for today at 5 PM. There's a US Coast Guard auxillary flotilla at the harbor. There are veteran's memorials all over town and there are historic cemeteries here in which are lying veterans from wars past. I decided that I would explain these things to Alex and trust in his ability to absorb what he could. Alex surprises me often with what he's able to understand.

We started out with lunch over which I told him again about my father's being in the Navy during the Pacific War. He asked all sorts of questions, including if my dad had died in that war. I used that as a starting point to explain that while most US veterans come home from wars, like my dad did, many do not. That's when I led into how this day was about remembering those people as well as acknowledging all of the veterans who are all still alive or even those who may be dead, like his grandfather, but who lived full lives after the war.

That's when I took him to the marina where we visited an anchor from a naval ship, the brand of which is dated the issue year "67". So, I told him about the war in Vietnam. I then took him to the Coast Guard Auxillary Flotilla at the harbor. During the walk to it, I told him what the Coast Guard does. There we ran into two guardsman. Alex ran up to one of them with the flag and said "Thank you for saving people."

From there, we went to see the parade that included groups of sailors and marines. What I had explained about my father and the anchor memorial had to have sunk in, because he was SOOOO excited to see real US Sailors. He told me that he wants to be a US Navy man when he grows up. At the parade, I had held up the photo poster I'd made that read simply "Thank You". So, after the parade, I took him to the American Legion post at the end of it where we stayed for the memorial ceremony. Despite politicians blathering on and on and on, Alex was attentive until I explained to him what the "gun guys" were about. (A gun salute). He didn't like that part so much. The director of the Legion Post said some stirring words about the ill treatment of veterans and implored us to write to our representatives to urge for change.

After the ceremony, we went into the post to give our Thank You photo to them. The guy who accepted it was a VN era Army vet who talked to Alex briefly. Then, we spoke to a current sailor and a current marine. Alex told them both "I want to say thank you to you". He told the sailor that he wanted to be a "US Navy Guy" and the guy laughed. When he said the same thing to the marine - that guy didn't laugh so heartily. (He did smirk.)

By the time we did all of this and had had dinner, Alex was tired and a little cranky. Whenever we visited more memorials (WWII and WWI) and the old graveyard, he took back all of the flags I tried to leave. He didn't want to leave them there and told me that I should make more "Thank You" pictures for the graves because that other veteran had liked it so much.

It was a long and busy day, but an exciting one for Alex. He had lots to tell Dan when we got home. He redeclared his intents to join the Navy, telling me that he would become a "Navy Man" to protect me and Dan and everybody from the bad guys.
I think he got it.

Monday, May 30

Dream Buddies

We've had a rough week. I haven't handled Alex's nap striking well. For his part, he's still not really responding to either an early bedtime or a nap attempt. So, we make promises to each other and I do my best to keep them. A few days ago, I told Alex that if he feels he needs to talk to me about our struggles here to use his chirping birds to talk to me. I held a chirping woodpecker and pressed it so that it would sing. I asked Alex to tell me what he said. This delighted Alex as he told me that the woodpecker said that he loved me and that he wishes I'd say "please" to Alex more often. I promised the woodpecker I'd do that - and I kept that promise.

Since then, Alex has been bringing the birds out to talk to me when he wants a sit down whenever Mommy's been a little snippy - or loud.

Tonight, he brought out the birds because Mommy got loud again while we were getting ready for bed. I encouraged him to bring the birds to bed with him tonight. He did, along with his old buddy Spaceman. We talked and he gave me messages from the birds, telling me that they loved me. So, I gave the birds as message. I asked them to travel with Alex into his dreams and to keep him safe there. Would they do that for me. I squeezed one to make it sing and Alex told me that he said "Yes". I checked with Spaceman, squeezing his squeaky nose and Alex squealed with laughter. He'd forgotten that Spaceman does that. He told me that Spaceman agreed to the trip too.

Alex had one request: a Big Boy Spaceman. I told him I know that it can be found. He'd just like a bigger one - for his dreams.

Thursday, May 26

Ready for Fishin'

Today, I kept a promise to Alex. If he napped yesterday, he earned a morning trip outside. He napped and we went out this morning. He wanted to go to Dunkin' Donuts. It's a pretty long walk, but I agreed hoping that it would tire him out.

After our donuts, we stopped to see our friends the Musgick Boats, otherwise known as the recreational boats kept in McMichael's and Brewer's Boat Yards off Boston Post Road. Alex talked up a storm about the boats, telling some season prep crews that he was deciding which one he wanted. (And some of them are 45+ foot yachts.) He chatted up a storm on the piers where owners and crews alike were putting on the finishing touches for the season. One man remarked that Alex seems to really like boats. I told him that he liked them so much, he was shopping for one already.

We also visited Harbor Island Park and Alex was curious about the fishing shop at the entrance. The owner, Steve, was taking out some trash and overheard Alex asking me about fishing rods, so he invited us in to look. Alex told him that he was going to get his own fishing rod soon and Steve gave Alex a small rubber lure. He told Alex that now he was already to go fishing in the event that someone lent him a rod.

Alex was over the moon for this gift. He kept it in his pocket and regularly checked to make sure it was there. He told me "Let's go to the pier now, because I'm all ready to go fishing!"

A "loo-ah", Alex calls it.

Wednesday, May 25

Maybe We're Ready

Alex had a good day today. After an absolutely disastrous last night, in which he lost his Legos, his trip to the Bronx Zoo, all treats for today and earned a Time Out, Dan was able to get through to him. This morning, Alex reminded me of my promise to return his Legos if he napped today. I told him that promise was still held.

We tried our first attempt at 11:30, even though he stalled it to 12. He stayed quiet until 12:20, at which point I checked to see that he never slept. At least he didn't lose another toy because he tried. He spoke to Dan on the phone and Dan reminded him of the next attempt, which would be coming at 1:30.

Once again, Alex stalled it until 2, taking forever to eat his lunch. But...it worked! He actually napped from 2 to 3. I got him up and awake by reminding him about the Legos. He got those back and earned his adventure to the zoo back for his trying without argument.
Luckily, he had also eaten all of his lunch, so this meant we could celebrate with ice cream from the ice cream truck! I flagged that man down from a block away to make sure that Alex could have his ice cream truck experience - the first one of the season.
Yay! Maybe, we're ready for summer.

Monday, May 23

Splashdown Countdown

In an effort to spend more time with Alex, I went with he and Dan on a walk to Dunkin Donuts on Boston Post Road and then to the Toy Box. Poor little guy still can't make it through the day without a nap. Even on days I've let him sleep until 10. He was getting to be Grumpy Blue Guy in the toy store.

But we got his pool home and it now sits in the backyard. He was really excited to watch me place it in the backyard. He wanted to play in it in the pouring rain. Wow. I had no idea he was paying attention to all of those times I told him about his backyard playground to be.

Saturday, May 21

Makin' Lemonade

What can be said of this past academic year? Since October, I have been inundated with so many things pulling me in all directions that the journal suffered, my photos suffered, my scrapping suffered and, most of all implied in all of this, my play and adventure time with Alex suffered.

Sure, we still did the holidays and some adventures in the fall. Sure, we still did a super Star Wars birthday and his classes and Easter baskets. It just wasn't the same.

The good news is that the grades I have to show for it are both As. An A earned in Statistics in the Fall semester and an A earned in Calculus this semester. I did the work and, apparently, it all paid off.
The bad news is that I've fallen behind on so many other meaningful things. There are relatives with whom I wish to keep in contact and whom I have not been able to contact due to the work load of my class. There's this journal missing so many entries that I wish to piece together through my haphazard notes kept in my notebooks. There's my spring/summer decor turn over and Alex's Big Boy Room to complete. There's my Mega Yard Sale to prepare (once weather allows) to clear myself of so much clutter and baggage. There are vacations and staycations to plan. There's the big backyard bonanza I have in store for Alex to organize: full of pool and sand fun with games and dress up and sprinklers.

Yes, much to catch up on. Maybe it's a good thing that ever since the day of my final (May 11), I've been trapped either by non-stop rain and/or a never ending cold.

I know this. I'll just take it all one day at a time, engaging in which tasks I can and I won't forget to have fun with Alex along the way. Today, we will be setting up his new shelving units for his Big Boy Room. We've settled on a nautical theme for his now Big Boy self.

Daddy wants all the L'il Dino theme stuff for his den. That will prove lots of fun for a challenging room too.

Thursday, May 19

A Really Big Boy Bed

Alex's new mattress arrived today. He was positively giddy when he saw the large bedframe transformed to a huge (really, full) bed with "sailing ship" bedding.

He even let himself jump on it a few times.

Monday, May 16

Hello Summer!!!!

OK, it's not summer yet and won't be for more than a month. But my class is over. I tried my hardest on the final last night. Today is the day I keep a promise to Alex. It is officially an Alex Day.

Alex chose to go to the mall. Oh. OK. He wanted to see all the toy stores, of course. Hey Macy's. Get on the ball, will you? My son wants to see a toy department here!!! Until you do, the train table on display in Barnes & Noble will have to suffice.

Thursday, May 12

A Study in Sunshine

It's been a trial to study for my final. I came up with a plan. Take Alex out to the backyard, bring a dinner or lunch and study there.

So there were turkey sandwiches, strawberry laces, water guns and Calculus. Three out of four makes a fun day, I figure.

Monday, May 9

Come Dream With Me

Tonight, while Daddy was putting him to bed, Alex asked him to hold his hand. "I want to take you with me in my dreams." he told Dan.

That's why he wanted to hold onto the Lego Clone Trooper as well. Seems he was invited too.

Saturday, May 7

Conquering a Fear

Tonight, after his bath and out of nowhere, Alex declared "I'm using the potty Dad!" and he proceeded to do just that. He's been so delayed on potty training, terrified of something. To have coaxed him more than we have would have been to force him onto the potty, screaming all the way.

But tonight, with no one asking him, he just went and used it all on his own. This matches the night a few weeks ago when he suddenly decided to pee in the potty right before his bath.

Wow. Could it be that that day has arrived? He's actually ready? We'll see. For now, he got a treat of chocolate and a promise of a trip to CVS tomorrow.

Congratulations, Beautiful*

(* = My new nickname for Alex. He doesn't want me to call him "Baby" anymore.)

Friday, May 6

Of Dandelions and Soccer

On our way to Super Soccer Stars class, Alex and I walked through the field in Florence Street Park. Many of the dandelions - quite possibly his favorite flower - have started to go to seed; bearing tall little puff balls of seeds ready for flight. I pointed them out to Alex as I had on the day of our Starry, Starry Night picnic. He squealed when he saw so many of them and dashed all over trying to grab them.

"Whoville is on one of these." he informed me, reminding me of the tiny planet lodged on a clover in "Horton Hears a Who". Then he laughed as he blew on the seeds, scattering them to the grass. "I'm sending them into space!"

I had to hurry him along. We still had to grab our early Monday dinner and get to class. Alex wasn't having it, though. He dashed to another part of the field also loaded with dandelions.

"This is fun!" he declared.

It was almost enough to make me reconsider getting him to Super Soccer Stars. I'm glad I got him there, though. He did great in class today.

Monday, May 2