Negotiator

Alex was unusually naughty today. It started with his refusal to get out of the house to ride his tricycle. His new tricycle! Nope! He wasn't budging without the 'beam' attachment to his Crimson Dynamo action figure. After a fruitless hour of my trying to get him sneakered and jacketed up so that we could go, I decided that the time had passed. Now, I had to get to the drugstore. That set off a howling fit that is, thankfully, a rare sight around here.

He wouldn't go to the store. He wouldn't get his jacket on. When I told him that his temper tantrum required a time out, he refused! He never refuses time outs. Then I told him that he'd lost his computer privleges for the evening. More tantrum. So, then he earned the most dreaded punishment of all - an upside down smiley face sticker on his chart. Oh, the horror and howling that brought on!

I couldn't get him to calm down enough to explain the ground rules, so I told him to go to his room to calm down. He refused. So, I got up and placed the upside-down smiley face sticker on his weekly chart. He was so angry and upset about that, he marched into his room and peeled it off. Now, he was definitely getting a time out, but I didn't really desire to do it while he was in this state. I laid down on the couch and, for a change, watched some of my true crime shows.


After a while, a no longer howling Alex was heard dragging his little rocking chair from his room and across the dining room. I watched as he acted with such determination to maneuver the chair around the bench in the living room and through a narrow passage behind the computer chair to a spot right next to the couch. He faced the chair towards my head at the place where I was lying and sat down, facing me, hands on his knees.

"Mama, we have to talk", he informed me.

"OK, Baby. What is it that you want to say?" I sat up a little and looked at him.

"Mama, when you feel angry, you have to remember to take a deep breath." At this, he demonstrated a deep breath. "And calm down," he continued.


I told him that he was right and that I should get a handle on myself when I get angry, but that he had to as well - and he still had a time out coming.

"Mama!" he insisted, "You're not listening! When you get angry, you have to take a deep breath and calm down."

Apparently, this sage advice was offered in lieu of the time out. No dice, buddy. And thank you, Kai Lan, for teaching us a valuable lesson about taking a step back from a sticky situation.

Thursday, October 7, 2010